Raise your hand if you've ever had a plan but then something went haywire. Lol yes, me too! Mark and I joke that every time we planned a surprise or a date for each other, something would go wrong. I got Mark and myself tickets to Opening Day for the Padres one year. I bought the all-you-can-eat section and we came to the game starving. Sadly, when we got to our seats we realized that they were not all-you-can-eat, and $80 later we were full of hotdogs and nachos lol. The good news is that we had GREAT seats!
Another example, Mark planned a romantic getaway to Julian for my birthday/ Valentine's day. The hotel he booked was a cute little hole-in-the-wall hotel, or so we thought. He specifically picked this place because they included a wine tour. When we got to the room to check-in, we found out the wine tours ended the hour before... bummer. The real surprise was when we pulled around to the back to park by our room. The place was super run down and looked like the perfect place for a murder movie to be filmed lol. The water in our room was brown and Mark slept with his gun next to the bed. Also, we both got sick from dinner! Oh man lol. We ended up having a great time but we always laugh at our misadventures.
Well there are some things in life that go wrong and they aren't things that you look back and laugh at, or even think fondly of afterwards. They are heart-wrenching, gut-check type moments/ seasons of life. I feel like we are in one of those seasons right now. I spoke pretty openly about our infertility struggles in a post about a month ago. If you missed it click
here to read it. I was shocked by the amount of people who reached out and are going through something similar or who just wanted to send some prayers and love our way. It's amazes me every time I find myself being vulnerable, that people will just surround us with love. It reminds me of how many kind, compassionate, and good people we have in our lives.
I cry just thinking about the sweet texts, emails, and calls I get on a weekly basis from people just checking in. A little note saying, "How's everything going? Any news?" makes my day. Thank you, thank you, thank you! On top of that, the prayer warriors that have come beside me, bless me in more ways than they could ever know.
So are our struggles over? Nope, we are smack dab in the middle of still trying to have a baby and figure out why my body isn't along for the ride. It's frustrating, hurtful, sad, beyond irritating, and can be all-consuming.
So what do we do in the mean time? Sometimes I want to curl up in my bed and cry... and sometimes that happens... whoops. What I really should be doing is focusing on the things I can control, like my attitude and my focus. I didn't come up with this idea on my own though. My friend Katie is an awesome writer and has a blog,
A Kup of Katie. She's so stinking adorable and her blog is packed full of positivity and motivational content. You should definitely check it out!
Katie and I recently had a conversation where she reminded me that I can always control how I respond to my situation. We need to give ourselves time to process what is happening and how we are going to look at our circumstances. I can't change the fact that I am not pregnant but I can allow myself time with God to ask for His patience and strength. I can choose to focus on the things that make me happy, not as a distraction but as a way to feel true joy. I am the queen of distracting myself and that's not healthy either.
So I'm making a conscious effort to not let my situation define me and to choose joy despite how I am really feeling. I'm choosing to thank God for the people He's brought into our lives, especially during this time. I'm choosing to be grateful for the many people who have come along side us and not shied away from this "uncomfortable" topic. I'm choosing to be a prayer warrior myself and pray boldly for those around us dealing with life circumstances that are not what they planned. I am challenging you to do the same. Reach out to someone who is going through a tough time... it doesn't matter if you haven't talked in years. You might just change the way they look at life!
