Weekend Recap {Memorial Day Weekend}

Happy Tuesday everyone!  I hope you all had an incredible 3-day weekend spending time with the ones you love. Some of my best friends from college were in town this weekend and we had a blast. It was so fun to be with people who know so much of my history and to just reconnect because it's been awhile since I've seen all of them.

I picked them up from the airport on Friday night and we went to Harbortown for a late dinner. Afterwards, we stayed up and just talked for awhile. Gotta love that girl time!

The next morning, I had a bridal shower to go to so they dropped me off in Pacific Beach at 11. The shower was beautiful and I had a great time meeting Nic's friends. Sadly, I forgot to get a picture with the bride! :( The girls came back and picked me up a few hours later and we decided to go to Little Italy. We walked around and ended up at Barbusa for a drink and appetizers. The food was delicious! We also made our way over to El Camino for chips and salsa... all we did was eat this weekend lol!!
Afterwards, we headed back to the house to hang out and then get ready for our night.

We were pretty stuffed from the day still so we ended up skipping dinner. Probably a bad idea haha! We made our way to Moonshine Flats for some line dancing. We had a blast!!

The next morning I was up super early for a doctor's appointment but got back in time for us to go to brunch. We went on base to Ocean View at Ballast Point. I love taking people here because the view is just incredible. The food was pretty delicious too!

We spent the rest of the day walking around Coronado and then headed to OB for dinner at Pizza Port. We were all pretty exhausted from the night before so we watched Bad Moms and just hung out at home for the rest of the night. It was the perfect way to end the trip!

The next morning I took the girls to the airport. I've been looking forward to this trip for so long so I was pretty sad when it was over. I just feel so at home with these girls and had so much fun catching up! Can't wait to do this again!!

I spent Monday catching up on life and getting ready for the work week. Memorial Day is a pretty somber day for me because I just keep thinking about those families who are living without their loved ones because they paid the ultimate sacrifice. So sad but also so humbling that these men and women have chosen this life of service. I am so thankful for our military and military families!

I ended the night with dinner at  Jimmy's Famous with Dina and Meaghan. A great way to start the week! :)

Life Lately

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Hi everyone and Happy Friday! I'm sorry I've been so MIA but life has been a little cray for the past few weeks. The end of the school year is always a busy time and I swear when Mark is gone, I'm even busier spending time with girlfriends. I'm SOOO glad it's Friday because some of my friends are coming to visit me! YAY! I love showing people around this city that I love so much.

I have been berry obsessed lately! The picture above isn't mine but how good does that fruit salad look?? I have been getting great strawberries and blueberries from Target lately. I usually get all my produce from Trader Joe's but I randomly got some from Target and WOW so good!

I miss my hubby so much but I am also grateful for girlfriend time. Last weekend I had a blast with these ladies! I love them!!

I have found some really cute things at Old Navy lately and this shirt is my fave! So cute!!

ignore the mess in the background lol

Baby- wise: things are still the same... not pregnant. We have been continuing with medication and IUIs and this month will be the 4th time for the procedure. Just waiting for my body to cooperate. If you feel inclined, prayers would be very much appreciated, especially this upcoming week! I'm still hopeful but also extremely worn out from the process. It's basically a part-time job with all the doctor's appointments lol. I wish someone would pay me for this! It will all be worth it though :)

I have been on a major reading kick. I find myself reading or listening to audiobooks almost every chance I can get. I love how books can take you to a totally different place and allow you to "escape." Some of my scary books don't really allow me to escape, but they are just so dang interesting that I can't stop reading them. I'm in the middle of Paula Hawkin's new book, Into the Water. So far, I'm not loving it. I can't keep all the characters straight and I just don't understand where it's heading. Maybe that's the point? I'm not sure.

I also just finished, Same Beach, Next Year by Dorothea Benton Frank. This is more of a mindless read, not to offend any of her fans! It just doesn't spark my interest like the thrillers I'm normally into, but I enjoy the lightness of it. This one didn't have much of an in-depth story line because it spanned over 20 years or so. It's a great beach read if you're looking for something for your next vacation. I posted some of my fave beach reads last year in this post.... check it out if you need some ideas.

I've been really trying to get back into my workout routine. After the IUI's I can't workout for the two weeks in between when I find out if I'm pregnant or not, so that makes my routine come to an abrupt halt. I still try to go on walks and do light weights but I'm not supposed to raise my body temperature at all... that's hard to stop when I'm used to Orange Theory lol. I put my OTF account on hold for the last two months and started back last week. WOW, that was a rude awakening... I am so incredibly sore. I still really love it!

I've also been trying to squeeze in the Tone It Up workouts. I like these because they aren't too time consuming and can be done at home.

I'm looking for new book recommendations. I feel like I am in a rut with picking the same kinds of books. So let me know if you've read anything good lately! Have a great day!

Mother's Day Weekend

This past weekend, my parents and my sister came to visit me. It's always fun to have people in town, even if we are squished in my tiny home lol. The weekend flew by but we were able to pack in a lot of fun. Let's recap the weekend!

Friday- 

I spend the night cleaning my house and getting ready for visitors. I am my mother's daughter through and through and needed the house to look perfect for guests. Dina saved me from spending my entire Friday night cleaning, and we went to dinner at Pizza Nova. I love some good pizza, a glass of red wine, and good conversation!

Saturday-

The morning was spent grocery shopping and cleaning some more. My house was a mess from being busy all week. My parents got to SD around lunch time and we headed to Home & Away from some yummy tacos and nachos. They have the BEST nachos! Then we headed to the NEX to shop a little before deciding what to do for the rest of the day. Dina suggested that we check out the OB Brewery because they have a great view of the ocean. We made our way to OB and luckily found a spot on the top floor. The views were incredible and it was perfect day to be outside.

We decided to watch the sunset from the Pier and oh my gosh it was soooo beautiful! If you know me personally, then you know I have a major thing for sunsets. It just makes me feel so happy and grounded. Seeing it while standing way out on the pier was a pretty incredible experience. No green flash, but still great!

We walked to Pizza Port for dinner because it was close and we were all pretty hungry. They have the best pizza! Yum!

Sunday- 

My mom and I went on a walk on Sunday morning by the harbor. It was a little chilly outside but nice to be in the fresh air. When we got back to the house we made breakfast and then headed to the beach. I was pretty cold the whole time we were there but it was still beautiful outside. I got to dive into my new book, Into the Water by Paula Hawkins and so far I have no idea what to think. It's just strange lol. I'll update you all soon. 

Afterwards, we went to Mike Hess Brewery because my dad has been dying to go there. They tasted some beer and we played Uno. Super relaxing and fun time. Then we headed home to get ready for our dinner. 

We ate at Salvucci's and I just seriously LOVE it there. The food was delicious and the atmosphere is just adorable. My mom and I shared a pizza that had figs (among other things) and holy moly, YUM!

 We had a great Mother's Day weekend and I hope you did as well. I received the sweetest text and phone calls from friends who know how hard this weekend is for me. I know I will be a mom someday though... and in the meantime, I will celebrate all the incredible moms in my life! 

{Currently}

Happy Monday everyone! I meant to post this on Friday but last week was a doozy! I had something going on almost every night and Thursday was Open House at my school. It just makes for a LONG week. I feel like I say that every single week now lol, but school has just been crazy. :) To all the mamas out there, I hope you had a wonderful day!

Reading: The Light of Paris

I picked this as our next book club read to kind of break up all the thrillers I've been into. I do LOVE a good suspenseful book but something different here and there keeps things interesting. So far I really love this story about two women's parallel lives decades apart. You hear Margie's story on her adventure in Paris and Madeline's struggles trying to fit this perfect mold of a society wife. I'll keep you updated on how I like it when I'm finished.

Watching: The Handmaid's Tale

Hulu just released this series and it's adapted after the book The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. I read the book a few months ago and was really intrigued by the storyline. I was sooo excited to hear that it was going to be a television series. It's basically centered around the idea of returning to "traditional values" but in a twisted and controlling way. The roles that women are forced to play are very different from the societal norm today but they are sheltered and segregated to ensure compliance. I'm only a few episodes in and I love it already!

Eating: RX bars

Since Mark has been gone, I have NOT been in the mood to cook. I'm just too tired at the end of the night so I have been surviving off of RX bars. They keep me feeing full and taste sooo good. I love the Coffee Chocolate or Peanut Butter. I get mine at Trader Joe's because they are actually less expensive than Amazon. I will link the Amazon options here but definitely go to Trader Joe's if you have one near you. 

Loving: Lush Bubble Bars

I grabbed a couple of these the other day and LOVE how luxurious they make a bath feel. Who doesn't love pink bubbles??

Wearing: Invigorate Tights

I just recently got a new pair of leggings from Lululemon and I'm obsessed. I have worn that a ton already and love they way they feel and fit. They are pricing but so worth it! 

Weekend Recap: Rainy SD & Birthday fun

love her!

Hey there everyone. Happy Monday! I hope you had a great weekend. Mine was pretty low-key and quiet. The weather here just really took a weird turn because it was so warm last week and now it's coooold and so rainy. I ended up making a big batch of soup to combat the crappy weather. :)

Like I said, the weekend was pretty low-key and quiet. On Friday, I went to the mall for a little bit to spend my Lululemon gift card that I won from my R+F team. So fun to be able to buy things without spending my own money haha. Then I just went home to catch up on some work and some of my favorite shows. It was nice to not have a bunch of things to do :)

Some goodies :) 

Saturday morning was glorious because I was able to drink my coffee in bed and catch up on some of my favorite youtube channels. I LOVE starting the weekend this way. Afterwards, I did some laundry, cleaned up a little, and just working around the house.  Later on, I went to Liberty Public Market with some friends to watch the Caps game and then to Fireside for my friend Spencer's  birthday dinner. It was great to hang with some friends and of course to see baby Charlie.

Birthday girl

On Sunday, I went to a newer church called Saddleback SD, with Stephanie and her family. The message really hit home and it was a great service. I always like hearing Rick Warren speak :) Afterwards I ran errands with Dina, made a big pot of Mexican chicken chowder, and attempted to watch the movie Jackie. It was just too depressing though and I couldn't get into it. I need to watch it when I'm in a different kind of mood lol.

It was a wonderful weekend I'm excited for this week because my family is coming to see me on Saturday. YAY! :) Have a good day!

Five on Friday: What I've Been Reading

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Hi everyone! Happy Fri-Yay!!! I'm so excited it's the weekend because work has been STRESSFUL lately. I only have plans tomorrow night and I'm excited to keep my weekend open. I'm thinking a beach day, catching up on some R+F work, and just relaxing.  It sounds blissful lol! I also get to see some girlfriends Saturday night... yay! One of my most asked questions is "what are you reading" or "do you have any recommendations?" You bet I do! So let's talk about what's been on my reading list as of late.

Behind Closed Doors

I picked this book as our book club choice last month and WOW I couldn't put it down. It's very twisted and intense but oh so good. If you like thrillers and plots that are hard to figure out, this one is for you. It will keep you sucked in until the very end. Just a warning though... it's pretty disturbing! It follows the marriage of Jack and Grace, the seemingly perfect couple. There is a dark story resting below the surface almost too unbelievable to even conceive. You find yourself trying to figure out what you would do in a similar situation and bracing yourself for what will happen next.

The River at Night

This book was really good but also kinda strange. The premise seemed a little far-fetched but I guess who wants to believe that people are that crazy?? I had a hard time connecting with any of the characters and it went from zero to 60 in a split second. I'm making it sound terrible but the book definitely kept me interested until the very end. Not as scary as Behind Closed Doors but still gave me the creeps. It's set in the middle of the woods on a rafting trip. The itinerary takes a turn for the worse when tragedy falls upon the group and they must put their heads together to figure out what to do next. I heard so many great things about this one, it was just different than I expected it to be. 

Sarah's Key

Sarah's Key was recommended by my friend Kayla and it did not disappoint. I have an obsession with all books set during World War II. I just think the time period was so interesting but also so devastatingly sad. The book is set during the Vel' d'Hiv roundup in Paris. I actually didn't know much about Vel' d'Hiv and let me tell ya, it's so sad. The book flashes between 1942 to present day Paris and follows the story of a little girl and  a grown woman who is somehow connected to her. This is a tear-jerker but so worth it!

My (Not So) Perfect Life

This is a MUCH lighter book and was a quick read. I've read a few other Sophie Kinsella books and I really like the author's "voice."  She's funny and the characters are always quirky, which I appreciate. This book is set in London where a young girl is trying to make her way in the glamorous and competitive field of branding. She "fakes it" through her tough life to show that she has what it takes. Finally, when she thinks life possibly can't get any worse, it does. This book will keep you laughing and interested until the end. A great beach read!

The Orphan's Tale

Secrecy is the name of the game in the Orphan's Tale, which is set during the Nazi invasion in World War II. The story follows a young girl on the run with a baby and a Jewish aerialist in the circus.  Appearances and deception keep the circus up and running and also hide the true identity of some of the performers. You'll see the contrasting differences between the two people but also seem the similarities of the hardships that were faced during this time. Such a heartbreaking book but also such an interesting story line. Even though this is once again about World War II, this looks at a different side of the invasion. 

How Infertility Feels

Since last week was Infertility Awareness Week, I wanted to write a post about what it feels like to deal with infertility. Well, I have I sat down to write this post about a dozen times and I'm just really struggling to get all the words out. I'm determined to finish this today though, so bare with me as I stumble through what exactly it is that I want to share. 

Sometimes I feel like infertility is this endless cycle of emotions and it's hard to convey that to others.  I'm going to do my best to give you a snapshot of what infertility has felt like for me.  

Infertility feels...

helpless

tiring

hopeful

guilty

wrong

unfair

intrusive
encouraging

lonely

exhausting

insightful

long
numbing

painful

invasive

confusing

discouraging
barren
expectant
sad

Did you notice that some of these words contradict the others? Yep, that's how confusing and strange infertility can feel. There are some days when I am super positive and hopeful about what the future holds. I pray constantly and cling to the Bible truths. I believe the kind words and reassurances that my friends and family tell me. I smile and feel happiness for those around me who have been blessed with kids. I attend baby showers (heck I even plan them), kids' birthdays, buy baby presents (who doesn't love baby clothes??), listen intently and ask my pregnant friends questions, etc and do it all knowing that one day I will be right there with them.

Then there are other days when I just feel so disheartened by our circumstances. That deep longing to have a family is like a wound that is constantly reopened. I feel exhausted by "faking it" or pretending that everything is okay. I just want to curl up into a ball and just escape from everything. This isn't all the time but just on especially hard days, like the negative pregnancy test days. I've seen so many of those little "negative" tests that I will probably have a heart attack when it finally says "positive."

What's even harder about all of this is when someone tries to tell you what you're doing wrong. Man that hurts. I already feel like it's my fault that I am going through all this. Then someone gives you a suggestion to take something out of your diet or stop doing something, like that is the reason for my infertility. It's just a swift kick to the stomach, because trust me I've already tried those things and low and behold, they didn't magically fix me ;) . Guilt plays a large part in how I feel and I just don't need more of that. I know it mostly comes from a good place but it's just not helpful. I've read so much about my infertility issues and I have the BEST doctors, so I'm truly doing everything I can.

I've spoken pretty openly about what we are going through because I honestly believe it's better to bring light to these situations. I don't want anyone to feel bad for me or to worry about me. I just want people to be aware of what other couples may be facing or if you're also struggling, then you know there is someone having your same feelings. Maybe infertility isn't your struggle but you face anxiety issues or you are battling something else in your life. Whatever it is, sharing it with someone will relieve some of that burden and allow you to feel lighter in the midst of your journey.

Also, I truly believe in the power of prayer. So even though I don't want you to pity me, I will always take your prayers. There are many of you out there who have been praying for me since day one and I cannot thank you enough. You've held my hand, attended appointments with me, listened to me cry, listen to me rant about yet again another ultrasound, and complain about how much it all costs. You are my people and I will be forever grateful for your support. One day I will tell Baby Bradford how you were there for her (I think we will have a girl lol) mommy and daddy.

To my husband- you are my rock and have listened to every single thought I've had about this subject, and let's be real... I talk a lot :)  You've never diminished my feelings or made me feel bad about my body and what it can/ can't do. You ask me questions and just hug me when I'm feeling too sad to talk.  You're my rock and my biggest supporter. My constant guide back to God when I am too angry to pray. You're going to be the best dad one day.

**I'm so very thankful that there is a computer screen between us so you don't have to see me ugly cry! :)

Thank you for reading this and being apart of my journey. If you want to read any more about our infertility season, click this link.

Weekend Recap {Wedding fun}

Hi everyone! I hope you had a great weekend, I know I did! I feel like I'm still recovering from how quickly it went by. Holy moly! I drove home to Vegas on Friday after school and I was really hoping that I wouldn't hit traffic. Ha, like that was going to happen! Well, it ended up taking over 7 hours to get there. Why is that drive getting worse????? Okay rant over.

 So the next morning, I went to my hair appointment and then was supposed to go shopping and to lunch with my mom and sis. My plans changed though because my phone all of a sudden wouldn't turn on. I've had a ton of issues with it in the last few months but I was trying to just make it work. Well, driving all the way back to San Diego with no phone was not going to happen. Thankfully, I was able to get another one with enough time to go home and get ready for the wedding.

The purpose for my weekend in Vegas was to watch one of my closest friends get married. It was seriously one of the most beautiful venues. It was on a golf course and overlooked the water. So pretty! The bride looked absolutely stunning and the groom cleaned up pretty well too. :) It was so fun to spend some time with our second family and really good friends. We danced a ton and had a blast! It was a bittersweet night because it just made me miss Mark even more. I know he really wanted to be there and was sad to miss his best friend's wedding.

My parents :)

The groom and Mama Hellem

Haha best photo bomb!

My date (Katie) and her date lol!

Congrats!!!

The next morning I packed up and started my drive back to San Diego. Once again, traffic was terrible and I was driving all day. What is it about driving that makes you so tired?? I felt like I ran a marathon when I got home and all I did was sit haha! Oh well! It was a great weekend and the trip was well worth it.