Stress is Stressing Me Out

I am coming to you real and raw today. I've had something on my mind this past week and just needed to get it out. So here we go!

One thing that I don't do very well is handle stress. I know this about myself and have made soooo many attempts to change this but then I go right back to my perfectionist/ need-it-to-be-a-certain-way tendencies. Why can't I focus on self care and do what I know is the BEST for myself? Why can't I focus that perfectionist tendency into helping me to be less stressed? It seems that this is the one area that my mind doesn't let me obsess over, or maybe I actually am obsessed over it ha?!

Recently, I have been reading Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis and I have come to realize all the lies I feed myself that have to do with increasing my stress level. **If you haven't picked this book up yet, DO IT NOW!!!**

I will tell myself things like: 

Yep, staying up late to find the next best tech tool for my class will definitely be the thing that makes this school year better.

My life needs to look a certain way because otherwise people won't like me.

I need to stay after school to work on these lesson plans because that will make everything run smoothly.

I'll work out tomorrow because x, y, and z are more important today. 

Taking time to rest when the house is a mess is lazy.

I don't work hard enough, therefore that's why I am not where I want to be.

Or how about this one, I can't have a "balanced life" because things will start to crumble.

Am I the only one that has this kind of self talk? I know I can't be but we really don't say this stuff out loud enough. Thanks to social media we get to see the highlight reel of everyone's lives which is totally 100% accurate picture of what it's really like, right??? No! lol but still I manage to look at this stuff and feel like crap. I think okay, I'm not working hard enough or putting in enough effort into this area. This work harder, push harder, be better mentality is an addiction that I didn't realize I even had. Sure, do I want to be the best possible teacher I can be? Yes, I do! Do I want to advance in Rodan+ Fields and hit big goals?? Yep, take my name down for that goal too. The question is when did I stop caring about my emotional well being and focus on everything else first? I seriously don't know when this happened.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that striving to be your best is bad. I think having goals is an incredible motivator and who wants to be mediocre?? I think sometimes most of the time I choose things like working harder over things like getting enough sleep, working out regularly, and filling my time with things that bring me joy, etc.

Now I know there are those of you who are killing it in every area and I applaud you. That's awesome that you have figured out how to manage stress and balance life, I'm just not there yet. This is something I REALLY have to work at and think about on a daily basis.

So what am I doing to destress?

 I am giving myself permission to actually sit down when I get home and not start doing a bunch of stuff. I blame this habit on my mom. :) She never sits down and is always cleaning, cooking, folding something, etc. She is a woman on the go! Growing up, our house always looked great, there were home cooked meals, laundry done each week, and she was a full time teacher. I seriously don't know how she did it. I do think it caused her a lot of stress though and it has taken her years to put that energy into herself. Now she recognizes the importance of self-care and uses pilates as her outlet. I wish I had her dedication!

I am trying to be less critical of myself when things don't go as planned and just to realize that tomorrow is another day. I am trying to leave school at a decent time and remember that I need to have a work/ life balance. I have even committed myself to 31 days of physical activity whether that's at the gym or at my house. I will get some kind of workout in! I am hoping this will become a new habit.

So here is me making a commitment to myself to work on self-care and to not put myself last on the list of things that need attention. I especially need to remember this today because it was a doozy. Tomorrow is a new day though.

How can you tweak things in your life so stress doesn't consume you?